Make your own free website on Tripod.com

Giving me a pill looked so easy when they were at the vet.  My Mom and Dad watched as Adele  showed them, but was Mom and Dad watching her carefully? In three simple words.......
 

Nope! Nada! Zilch!

So for all of you who like to follow instructions here there are just for you..
 
   HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL

  1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just
     as if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently,  you might
     say, "That's a nice kitty." and just drop the pill in its mouth.

  2. Retrieve cat from the top of lamp & the pill from under sofa.

  3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but this time hold cat's front paws
      down with left hand & back paws down with elbow of right arm.
      Got the picture in your minds eye?  Good now just Poke pill into
      its mouth with right forefinger and look out for the sharp teeth.

  4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (resist
      impulse to get new cat.)

  5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in
      bottle-feeding position, sit on edge of chair, fold your torso
      over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's
      mouth by lifting the upper jaw & pop pill in - quickly! Since your
      head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you
      are doing. That's just as well. Make sure to watch out for the back
      claws ripping at your neck.

  6. At this point,  leave the cat hanging on drapes. Leave the pill in
      your hair and just get another one from the bottle..

  7. If you are a woman, have a good cry. If you are a man, have a 
      good cry too but don't let anyone see you especially the cat !

  8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve
     cat once again and another pill. Assuming position 1 above , say 
     sternly,   "Who's the boss here anyway?"  (Only the cat knows) 
     Anyway open cat's mouth, take pill & ....Oooops!

  9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse & think........ Aha!!!!!!!    Those
      claws are causing the problem.  Himmm what can  we do about 
      them?

 10. Crawl to the linen closet. Don't worry you can clean up your own 
       trail of blood later. Find and drag back a large beach towel. 
       Spread towel on floor.

 11. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter & pill from potted plant.

 12. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge.

 13. Flatten cat's front & back legs over its stomach. (resist impulse
       to flatten cat.)

 14. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time & tabbies like K.C. wait for no
       man or woman for that matter!

 15. Resume position 1 above. Rotate your left hand to cat's head.
       Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a 
       snapdragon.

 16. Drop pill into cat's mouth & poke gently. Voila! It's done!

 17. Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours).

 18. Take two aspirins & lie down because in two hours its time to 
       do it again.
 

It's time to say Dayenu !

 
 
 

Back to  K.C's Home Page